UPWARDS IN THE GARDEN | Call of the Wild
A Gardener's Tale | Nature Feeds a Gardener's Fertile Imagination
Appreciating and interacting with the outdoors, such as gardening, requires only practicality and the simplest form of admiration. But why stop there? Let your imagination guide you.
MARK ZULEGER-THYSS
Call of the Wild, Part One | Garden Dreams, Gardening, Getting Started, and Tips
A Garden Dream, A Garden Get-together
And, yes, go ahead, show off your garden!
Gardening ~ A Place in the Sun
In the height of spring or summer, there's no better way for a green-thumbed Goddess to revel in perfect weather than by digging small trenches in the bare earth and loosening the hard-packed soil with dreams of tender fat asparagus, perfectly plump zucchinis, and eye-catching yellow beans with impressive purple streaks.
But first, what kind of gardener are you? There are the rough and tumble gardeners, perhaps readers of Garden and Gun magazine, who drop to their knees and start digging away while fighting off their puppy who wants to lick a face, any face. Then there are the pre-planners who need to know what's up and what's down and dream of creating flamboyant gardens that feed the body and tickle the neighbors with delight.
The Joy of Seed Catalogs
Some gardeners are hyper-vigilant planters who desire to work out every detail and row angle beforehand in their fertile minds. They don't just start digging; they begin far earlier in midwinter with romantic thoughts of sprouting, flowering, and fruiting. The more cerebral of the sort, the hobby gardeners, on the other hand, need a connection to a community of people who share seeds to guarantee an heirloom variety's longevity and survival.
As the colder months progress, these ever-prepared planters wait anxiously for the big annual seed catalog reveal. Arriving in the insufferable months of frigid temperatures, the catalogs, as many as two hundred of them, find their way into your swollen mailbox, depicting the glorious possibilities ahead. They promise mouthwatering white asparagus spears, crisp, crunchy, ruby-red beets, rhubarb that tastes like yesteryear's sparkling rose, and twenty-pound tomatoes that inspire reverence like stained-glass windows. However, they stop at the promise of world salvation, but go ahead and dream if you must.
These hyper-aroused gardeners don't just want quick and dirty comments about growing times; no, they need colorful illustrations—usually photographs but sometimes Audubon-elegant drawings—accompanied, plant by plant, with stats and vitals as if measured using a baby's butt thermometer.
Put the planet's fate aside and know catalogs will rev up your imagination to the coming of spring, the rapture of bloom, and the fleshy, wet, watermelon-and-lemon tang of summer. The seed and garden catalogs are strangely compelling reading, and you must be careful not to trade in your last surviving relative for a handful of magical golden rutabaga seeds that promise to tickle your tastebuds while simultaneously levitating your mood to the heavens and beyond.
Remind yourself that you are buying seeds, usually three dollars and fifty cents for 100 kernels. Such a purchase is not a high finance proposition - they're just seeds and not the botanical version of a three-ring binder full of vintage baseball cards nor a Lamborghini in an electric shade of yellow.
If you want to grow and eat your produce, get to know the "cut and come again" greens. This method is the easiest way to grow greens in the shortest amount of time. Arugula, broccoli, chard, endive, kale, lettuce, and spinach are the easiest ones to start with.
Finally, with this understanding in mind, find a small parcel of land, perhaps an atom of damp earth, behind your dwelling. With as much wood-chip mulch as you can carry, you're ready to plant seeds.
Perch your ice-cold drink on the stone wall that runs along your plot of dirt, and dig in. You can begin by sowing the seeds, placing them carefully in the loving protection of the soil with grimy thumbs and fingers, and then adding the secret ingredient by lacing the rows with manure. There is even fortune for the most reluctant husband gardener foolish enough to hope for the best as he wields a pickax like a poorly paid mercenary. Never has a garden tool been taken up with more enthusiasm!
For those devoted souls, gardening is more than growing plants; it's a form of therapy.
Nurturing and watering seedlings, cutting, and weeding is an uncomplicated opportunity for growth for your little green charges and yourself, too. There is solace in the repetitive planting and pruning motions. These meditative acts help to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression.
Nurturing and watching a living plant grow can also be a tremendous source of pride and fulfillment. Seeing order emerge from a neglected mess or a plot previously devoid of life and now deserving of an alley of rosebushes crowned with a birdbath as the sentry is equally satisfying.
For others, it's enough to chew on corn on the cob.
You might learn about instant no-dig garden beds if you are the harried type. Or, if you are confident, you can begin planting flower beds immediately with a grouping of the alluring, scarlet Flaming Parrot tulip as you ponder the days of the 17th Century "Tulipmania," which engulfed the merchant class in Europe.
A word to the wise, though. Do not let the Parrot tulip's feathered petals wheedle you into spilling any secrets, and certainly do not speak unkindly of your mother-in-law, lest you make yourself a target of dirty looks until you find a new husband. Now, if you still trust in the beauty of the bloom, you can move on to the next row of beds.
Once your raised beds are planted with lavender, splashed with borders of yellow poppies, and done so with a certain unplanned charm, you can step back and admire your work bathed in the glow of the sunset. You can show off the garden to your neighbors, hiding your blistered hands and telling them how you managed to take an informal rockery softened by a healthy covering of weeds and turned it into a veritable work of art with the help of 50 pounds of cow dung.
Keeping your gardening methods firmly behind the teeth, you can watch your friends stop dead, staring with eyebrows drawing themselves up to their full height in astonishment at your artistry.
"Yes, I took an expanse of bare, trodden earth with clumps of determined weeds, swung that pickax until my hands were raw, and did it all by sniffing the wind, spitting on the ground, and using my intuition," you recount. "The prolonged battle with a nasty family of huge centipedes was stressful, but in the end, I prevailed victorious."
Little do the neighbors know, you did it all in service to your mental and emotional well-being, hunger pangs, and an empty pocketbook, and it was as easy as tossing some seed around and hosing it down with water. Amid the oohs, ahs, and clapping, they agree to give you an A, plus, plus for all your lack of effort, primarily due to your glowing self-aggrandizing descriptions.
And again, with your reasons firmly behind the teeth, you might even tell them if they listen carefully, they might hear the nearby toads sing, that is if toads do indeed sing.
Gardening Yields Endless Rewards
All fun aside, there is a place between reality and fantasy where you can have your garden dreams and eat nutritious broccoli rabe, creeping cucumbers, curly kale, leafy chard, and crispy Belgian endive. If you don't mind a little sweat, you can keep perspiration at a minimum by working smart and keeping things simple.
Produce Suggestions for the 21st Century Homesteader
If your love of gardening and love for your spouse began with a mutual passion for compost and you met at a Zen monastery in the Catskills, what better metaphor for living life and counting on renewed vows can you hope for? You have found a way to transform any past heartbreak into something new and vital each time the next growing season comes closer into view.
Here are four types of delicious produce to steer you clear of any chance of a second divorce. Yes, it would help; no, it is a requirement that you grow them and cook them, too.
Urizun Japanese Winged Beans | With lush and tropical vines, this is just the variety of beans you've been searching for. Early maturing and supremely delicious, this ruffled winged bean might appear angry, but its lavender flowers say otherwise. This beauty is rare, and at $5 for a packet of ten seeds, after you taste them, you'll see why they are as unique as your born-out-of-a-compost-heap passion truly is.
Conover's Colossal Asparagus | This 19th-century heirloom asparagus is hearty and vigorous. The tender spears are massive and buttery. About $3.50 for a packet of 40 seeds.
Chioggia Beets | This crisp, crunchy beet is remarkably mellow and can reach maturity in 60 days. When sliced open, the candy-striped roots reveal concentric rings of pink and white and will add pop to your salads. First considered a gourmet oddity, this whimsical vegetable with red-in-white circle patterns can cause hallucinations if you stare too long and don't gobble them up quickly. Their candy-sweet taste will cost you a mere $3.50 per packet.
Oxcart Carrots | Although this variety of carrots takes 90 days to mature, the massive, heart-shaped roots weigh in at one pound each. Oxcart carrots are brilliant orange with crisp, sweet, and mild roots. This variety, although blunt in shape, is perfect for heavy or shallow soils. $3.50 will buy you a packet of 300 seeds.
Gardening Tips for the Beginner
If gardening is not a subversive statement against big industry and growing your food is the path to vegetarian nirvana, cultivating herbs, vegetables, flowers, or other edibles need not be too demanding. When starting, there are a few things to remember for the novice instead of the power gardener.
1) Gardening is a relaxing and joyful activity where you can lose yourself for hours.
2) Start by assessing your space. How much sun does the plot get, and is the soil sandy or heavy with clay?
3) Choose plants that suit your local conditions. Local nurseries offer an abundance of advice.
4) Buy the right tools. A moisture meter can be helpful if you are the fussy type.
5) Study how to water because each type of plant has different needs as their root systems develop.
6) You can grow flowers and food together in a small space. It is a widespread strategy. Also, certain ornamental flowers can distract nasty bugs from your edibles while attracting pollinators that increase the output. Other combinations can deter mice and deer.
7) If you want to grow and eat your produce, get to know the "cut and come again" greens. Certain leafy greens are a low-effort option. You can grow them within four to five weeks. The cut-and-come-again method is the easiest way to grow greens in the shortest amount of time. Arugula, broccoli, chard, endive, kale, lettuce, and spinach are the easiest ones to start with.
8) Check out seed catalogs like High Mowing Organic Seeds and Seed Savers Exchange.
9) Learn from the experts. There are websites for national organizations, like The National Gardening Association, American Horticultural Society, and The Garden Professors, and through universities like Cornell and Colorado State.
Awaken your senses and feel alive being outside. Embrace your wildness; keep your feet firmly planted on the earth.
A Dream is Just a Dream...
Until You Live It!
As a beginning gardener, you can revel in easy wins while you work your way to mixing things up like a true master gardener. Let your imagination go wild as you dream of whatever you will during long periods of being 'not attached to anything.' A gardener develops a nose to predict the right time for planting and reaping the harvest. Savvy gardeners have their fingers on the pulse of the seasons, microclimates, soil, weather, and each plant's bloom time.
Sharing the bounty is the greatest reward. Gardening yields endless benefits and advantages over shopping in a crowded store. Gardening offers joy, relaxation, mental and emotional healing, and growth for all gardeners from the first sprout to the final harvest. There is also the reciprocity factor, the giving and taking as a kind of equal exchange between the garden and its caretakers.
You had better hope that your garden get-together convinced the neighbors of your horticultural prowess. They might get accustomed to you watering at night to treat the picnicking slugs and using bright pink recycled scaffolding nets for those unproductive plum trees, even if they do seem a bit unconventional. But constantly hushing your cantankerous Bengal he-cat, Chairman Meow, and raising a trip of unauthorized goats could be so outside the norm for your big-hearted neighbors that you might find yourself in trench warfare territory.
Faced with banishment and pitchforks, more than inches must be won, and you might otherwise consider relocating and befriending even more susceptible people, especially if you are chased out of the community!
Follow Nature... Wherever She may lead You!
© 2024, Mark Zuleger-Thyss | Garden of Healing, LLC.